Most of us don't like conflict and will do whatever we can to avoid it. But still, there are a few individuals who seem to thrive on it.
Fortunately, the Bible does tell us how to handle it in Matthew 18:15-16: "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'" Now if anyone has found that to be easy, please let me know.
When I was a new preschool director, I quickly learned how easily rumors spread and how devastating results of conflict can be. I wish I had known of the aforementioned verse before I finally figured it out on my own.
I truly questioned (and still do) the motives of anyone who would tell others what terrible things were said about them. It has no purpose other than to add to the contention. Finally, I made it mandatory to handle conflicts one-on-one, and if it couldn't be resolved between the two individuals, then they were to come to me. That worked!
To this day, I deplore rumors. I currently know of an individual who has been hurt in the past and wishes to make the life of those she holds responsible as unsettling as possible by spreading untruths or putting a negative spin on everything. The truly sad thing is that she could be very likable if she wanted to be.
So what can be done to stop such conflicts, especially if someone is not willing to halt such behavior? It's best to remember that those who try to make others miserable are also miserable, too. In such cases, I think it comes down to prayer and asking God to give guidance in dealing with the issue, and to help heal the person's wound so that the behavior ceases. At least that's my plan.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
Reflections on Getting Older
At one time, I awaited my birthday much like Christmas. It couldn't arrive fast enough. Now that I'm older, that has changed significantly, at least in regard to my birthday.
On the positive side, doesn't wisdom accompany each year of life? I'm no Soloman, but there are a few lessons I've learned over the years. For one thing, I don't feel the need to please everyone, but I do feel the need to do the right thing. It's a no-brianer that we all have a responsibilty for this world and to each other. Looking back over the last year, it's important for me to see that I've made a positive difference.
Appropriate appearance is still important for me as well as others, but I'm much less judgmental. We are Biblically cautioned many times about judgment, so it's become a conscious effort of mine not do so rashly, especially when it comes to placing value superficially. The result is that I'm less concerned about my own vanity and more open to some wonderful friendships that might not have occurred.
I also find myself to be more aware of my actions. I don't want others to see my imperfections as an excuse to label all Chritians or to deny themselves an opportunity to explore a belief. It's my goal to live my life in such a way that makes others see that this is how we should live.
My bucket list from younger years has changed significantly. The urgency to do many things, especially the things that are more self-absorbed and oriented, have been replaced with what truly gives life meaning. Pleasing myself fails in comparison to making a difference for others and leaving this world a little better place than when I arrived.
I appreciate the everyday things a bit more like a gorgeous sunset, the sweet smell of lilacs in the wind, and especially trees. My love affair with the latter has been on-going for some time, but I eagerly await the change of seasons just to see nature's response. I count these things among my blessings.
I am also thankful to everyone for their well wishes on my birthday and offers of assistance during my recent bout with an infection. Know that you are also among my most cherished blessings.
So when my birthday arrives next year, I hope to have learned more about being a better human being. It's a never-ending goal we should all set for ourselves. That's how we truly make this world a better place.
On the positive side, doesn't wisdom accompany each year of life? I'm no Soloman, but there are a few lessons I've learned over the years. For one thing, I don't feel the need to please everyone, but I do feel the need to do the right thing. It's a no-brianer that we all have a responsibilty for this world and to each other. Looking back over the last year, it's important for me to see that I've made a positive difference.
Appropriate appearance is still important for me as well as others, but I'm much less judgmental. We are Biblically cautioned many times about judgment, so it's become a conscious effort of mine not do so rashly, especially when it comes to placing value superficially. The result is that I'm less concerned about my own vanity and more open to some wonderful friendships that might not have occurred.
I also find myself to be more aware of my actions. I don't want others to see my imperfections as an excuse to label all Chritians or to deny themselves an opportunity to explore a belief. It's my goal to live my life in such a way that makes others see that this is how we should live.
My bucket list from younger years has changed significantly. The urgency to do many things, especially the things that are more self-absorbed and oriented, have been replaced with what truly gives life meaning. Pleasing myself fails in comparison to making a difference for others and leaving this world a little better place than when I arrived.
I appreciate the everyday things a bit more like a gorgeous sunset, the sweet smell of lilacs in the wind, and especially trees. My love affair with the latter has been on-going for some time, but I eagerly await the change of seasons just to see nature's response. I count these things among my blessings.
I am also thankful to everyone for their well wishes on my birthday and offers of assistance during my recent bout with an infection. Know that you are also among my most cherished blessings.
So when my birthday arrives next year, I hope to have learned more about being a better human being. It's a never-ending goal we should all set for ourselves. That's how we truly make this world a better place.
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