Handling Conflict

Most of us don't like conflict and will do whatever we can to avoid it. But still, there are a few individuals who seem to thrive on it.

Fortunately, the Bible does tell us how to handle it in Matthew 18:15-16: "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'" Now if anyone has found that to be easy, please let me know.

When I was a new preschool director, I quickly learned how easily rumors spread and how devastating results of conflict can be. I wish I had known of the aforementioned verse before I finally figured it out on my own.

I truly questioned (and still do) the motives of anyone who would tell others what terrible things were said about them. It has no purpose other than to add to the contention. Finally, I made it mandatory to handle conflicts one-on-one, and if it couldn't be resolved between the two individuals, then they were to come to me. That worked!

To this day, I deplore rumors. I currently know of an individual who has been hurt in the past and wishes to make the life of those she holds responsible as unsettling as possible by spreading untruths or putting a negative spin on everything. The truly sad thing is that she could be very likable if she wanted to be.

So what can be done to stop such conflicts, especially if someone is not willing to halt such behavior? It's best to remember that those who try to make others miserable are also miserable, too. In such cases, I think it comes down to prayer and asking God to give guidance in dealing with the issue, and to help heal the person's wound so that the behavior ceases. At least that's my plan.