A Love Story

Today marks the 13th anniversary of losing the man I loved for 37 years, just 11 days shy of his 56th birthday. It is a day I wish I could often forget, but not to accept that pain would cause me to also forget how very much I loved him and still do.

Steve and I became acquainted in 7th grade, 12 year olds who remained casual friends until a second semester advanced English class at KU provided an opportunity to actually spend some quality time together. After that class we had a break before going separate ways to the next one, so we "hung" out. Since we were both dating other people, we formed a close platonic relationship, but I enjoyed his company so much that I even skipped my first classes ever to be with him. It was natural, after our other relationships ended, our friendship became something more.

When Steve asked me out in late July, I said yes, and then almost canceled. I didn't want to lose my best male friend if the date didn't work out, but then I decided it was worth the chance. Obviously, it did work out and three and a half years later, we were married. Five and half years after that, our first son was born, and three years later, our younger son.

Steve and I made each other better people, and I think that has to be a defining characteristic of any great marriage. When one of us was weak, the other was strong. And that was especially true as we experienced health challenges. In fact, Steve still makes me a better person.

I would never be able to write the heartfelt words that I now do without knowing his loving tenderness. I would never feel so keenly the compassion for others who experience loss had I not so deeply felt that myself. I would not appreciate the loving relationships of others and be glad for them had I not experienced it too. And not only did Steve leave me with life lessons, he left me with two wonderful sons who have blessed me with their own families.

Though even with the pain of great loss, I am grateful. I thank God for putting Steve into my life, and not for one moment would I ever choose to forget that love never dies. 

An Alert and an Update to My Book

I received an interesting email yesterday, supposedly from our interim pastor who is resigning his post, and then leaving for three months to travel in Europe. Since his last day was Monday, it wasn't too odd that he requested help.

When asking how to help, the response was to purchase two $100 gift cards that he wanted to give, but had no time to buy himself. Okay, that could be plausible, but then the request was to acquire the PIN on the cards and email them to him. BINGO! Scam alert!

I, and a number of other members of the congregation immediately realized this was phishing. My main concern, however, was for those who may have received the obviously hacked email, and could possibly fall victim to the scam. Of course, the pastor immediately sent out an email to those he thought most likely to receive the bogus correspondence. but my name wasn't on it so I know there must have been many others who received the email as well. I tried to alert anyone I knew, but I'm now making this scam more public.

On a good note, I just ordered a proof copy of my next book, and if all goes well I'll be able to order actual books within two weeks, and it will be available on Amazon as soon as I am okay with the proof. I'm pleased with the content of 80 stories compiled into 241 pages, and grateful to all who shared their experiences. That required courage for contributors, even if it were only to credit their story with initials rather than full name. After all, the name of the book identifies what most of us believe about our own experiences―If It Hadn't Happened to Me...