A Love Story

Today marks the 13th anniversary of losing the man I loved for 37 years, just 11 days shy of his 56th birthday. It is a day I wish I could often forget, but not to accept that pain would cause me to also forget how very much I loved him and still do.

Steve and I became acquainted in 7th grade, 12 year olds who remained casual friends until a second semester advanced English class at KU provided an opportunity to actually spend some quality time together. After that class we had a break before going separate ways to the next one, so we "hung" out. Since we were both dating other people, we formed a close platonic relationship, but I enjoyed his company so much that I even skipped my first classes ever to be with him. It was natural, after our other relationships ended, our friendship became something more.

When Steve asked me out in late July, I said yes, and then almost canceled. I didn't want to lose my best male friend if the date didn't work out, but then I decided it was worth the chance. Obviously, it did work out and three and a half years later, we were married. Five and half years after that, our first son was born, and three years later, our younger son.

Steve and I made each other better people, and I think that has to be a defining characteristic of any great marriage. When one of us was weak, the other was strong. And that was especially true as we experienced health challenges. In fact, Steve still makes me a better person.

I would never be able to write the heartfelt words that I now do without knowing his loving tenderness. I would never feel so keenly the compassion for others who experience loss had I not so deeply felt that myself. I would not appreciate the loving relationships of others and be glad for them had I not experienced it too. And not only did Steve leave me with life lessons, he left me with two wonderful sons who have blessed me with their own families.

Though even with the pain of great loss, I am grateful. I thank God for putting Steve into my life, and not for one moment would I ever choose to forget that love never dies.