Thursday, August 27, 2015

Unknown Influence

You never know what influence you have on others. Teachers hear that all the time, but it really applies to all of us.

Last Sunday, our new pastor cited an unknown survey which purportedly determined that children remain in their faith and go to church when they become adults because of childhood relationships with at least five unrelated members of their church. That's a good wake-up call to interact and become acquainted with the children in the congregation.

In response to an announcement that my Christmas story submission to Chicken Soup for the Soul: Merry Christmas! would appear in the 2015 edition of the book, I heard from many wonderful friends and family members. One in particular made me think about the impact we have in this world.

A friend commented that she wished she had done as much for others as I had, but I was surprised by her comment. She obviously didn't realize what an amazing influence she is to so many.  She listens and provides tender encouragement to those in need, and she is very supportive of everyone's efforts. Her compassion and care impact lives far more than any words written by me.

Her comment also made me think of my late husband. Steve was probably the most selfless person I've ever known. He knew when someone needed to talk, or to have a shoulder to cry on - sometimes, I'm embarrassed to say, much to my chagrin and impatience. While I might be generous in giving things, he was generous in spirit.

When Steve was preparing to leave this world, he lamented that he had never done much to make this world a better place because he hadn't saved a life, invented something great, etc. What? I couldn't believe what he was saying! He always gave of himself; his time, his energy, and his love. He was generous in what Jesus asks of us - to truly care for each other. (John 13: 34-35 "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." - NSRV)

Fortunately, Steve had an inkling of what he meant to many when the long lines of visitors to the hospital during his last days resulted in an extended queue that had to be managed. These were people on whom Steve had a positive impact, and he influenced them to live a better life in countless ways.

So, I concede that influence knows no bounds. Perhaps it's in the gentle way we look at life, the kindness that we bestow on strangers, or the effort we put into truly getting to know our fellowman and his needs. But of one thing I'm pretty certain - those who mistakenly believe they have no positive impact on this world are often the ones to quietly serve as the example we should follow.


Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Why Did I Do It? Never Again!

Most anyone acquainted with me knows I avoid anything that contributes to or demonstrates inappropriate or otherwise undesirable behavior by my fellowman. I don't watch reality or contestant TV shows which portray how ignorant, crude, or mean people can be to each other, nor do I wish to read or hear disparaging remarks about others. Include in that a basic aversion to rumors and gossip. I think people who engage in these behaviors are not a fair representation of what the majority of people are really like, and it certainly doesn't make for a better world.

So why did I ever agree to a garage sale! That's more rhetorical than a question, hence the exclamation mark instead of a period.

During my lifetime, I've been involved with four garage sales and one auction - two sales after remodeling in two different residences, one as an estate sale, one an estate auction, and the latest a community garage sale. Normally, I just donate items to charities, but since I'm the secretary for our home owner association which sponsored the event, and because my son and daughter-in-law wanted to sell some items, I agreed. Big mistake on my part.

It didn't matter how inexpensively an item was priced, some people wanted it lower. I'm not talking about $5 items, I'm talking about 25 cents or a dollar. To some people, it may be a game to see how low they can bargain, but I still expect people to exhibit good and fair behavior whether Christian or not.

For a few, a garage sale can be an opportunity to scam, and it enabled some people to appear very predatory and cheap. There were two particularly disturbing situations for which I won't go into detail. I just don't like it when something brings out the worst in people because it can cloud one's perception about the majority of people who are really good and honest individuals.

If I go to a neighbor's garage sale, I pay what they ask, especially if it's reasonable. If it's more than I want to pay, I won't buy it. If they offer to sell an item to me for a lower price, that's just fine, but I won't ask for it. In fairness, I did encounter a few nice people with the same philosophy.

I don't want to take advantage of anyone because I wouldn't feel right about it. Leviticus 25:17 states: "Do not take advantage of each other, but fear your God," and there are numerous verses in the New Testament about how we should treat each other fairly.

So I'm counting this experience as further evidence that garage sales are something I personally should never do, and viewing it as a social event that took a good deal of work - much more than it was worth. I'm glad I only had a few items for sale, even though I wish I'd donated them instead. I would have felt much better giving to people in need rather than to some people "in greed." The measly $11 I received will go to charity, but the items would have been better given as a donation.

So, I apologize to those who enjoy garage sales, either as a participant in buying or selling. I just know it's not for me, and this was my garage sale swan song. Five times of witnessing what I consider to be  less than desirable behavior is enough; selling at one of these venues is now among my avoidance options and I'll never be tempted to do so again. And, for the record, any that I infrequently attend will continue to be done with a Christian perspective toward my fellowman.