Give to Those Who Ask and Even Those Who Don't

We are in the season for giving - giving thanks for our many blessings, sharing our bounty, and showing appreciation of and to our fellowman. 

I love buying things for others and knowing that I've done something to brighten or ease the life of someone else. It's almost selfish because I think I am rewarded more than the recipients of my benevolence. I also believe that we are wired to care for our fellowman.  Philippians 2:13 states: "...for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Whatever you believe, I'm glad the inspiration is there!

The trick to giving, now and throughout the year, is simply to be aware. Sales are always around us.
I have found many bargains recently, and no need for Black Friday shopping. What is shared below is just to give you examples of how easy it is to be generous without spending a great deal.

Hy-Vee has a box of Russell Stover chocolates that is nearly two pounds and over 2 feet long for $10. Now the question is: Where should it find a good home? It could be one of the emergency stations for fire and police, a nursing facility, or maybe a great present for someone who is not likely to receive one. I'm certain the right destination will reveal itself to me, or I'd love for you to comment to this blog as to where you think it should go. Come up with a better idea and I will select a winner who will receive a copy of my first book, Christmas: A Season for Angels. Tell your friends and family to comment with their ideas, too!

I also purchased additional toys from Kohl's today with a $20 Kohl's cash certificate plus a little extra ($11). I even received 15% off of the already 40% off sale which allowed me to purchase a tea set, and three games. I'll add that to two new snuggle pets that light up the ceiling which were purchased at my church's holiday bazaar last Saturday ($10), and a large Marvel art kit ($14 from a previous sale and 30% discount), and I've got a great donation. My total outlay was just $35 for seven fun presents!

While I write checks to some charities, I like giving toys to the women's shelter. Abused women arrive with their children on or before the holiday without having been signed up on an adoptee list. It's traumatic enough for the kids without missing presents.

There is also the senior adoptee program for low-income seniors or seniors who have no one to buy for them. Most cities have some form of this, but in Lawrence, it's the Douglas County Senior Center.

Usually I purchase a microwave for someone who has only requested that one big item, but there are many who have a list and the adopter is only asked to pick one thing from it. All adopters are asked to also purchase a $50 or more grocery certificate. This year, my adoptee wanted a different big item which I found at a greatly reduced price at Home Depot. It's all anonymous so there is a special feeling of giving.

The bottom line is that it doesn't cost much to be generous if you look around. My family really isn't in need of much so for the last few years, I and my sister (who lives in the same city), brother-in-law and two nephews and their families have exchanged gifts of no more than $10 each. The rest is given to those who really are in need. And while I still spoil my two sons and daughter-in-law, they also engage in philanthropy as well.

I know that I am blessed to have more than I really need, and with that extra, I'm going to do my best to share with as many as I can. Now you can, too, by just being aware. Happy Thanksgiving and shopping!

Better Early Than Late

Yes, I know that it is a little too early for some to begin decorating for Christmas. I just don't happen to be one of them.

Last year, I left my Christmas tree in one piece so that it would be easier to decorate and I could do it more quickly. That also means decorating the light pole in front of my home with a lit garland, running greenery through the spindles of the stairway to the second story, decorating the mantel, and placing other bits of Christmas décor throughout.

This year I am going to be a little earlier than usual. The weather is to take a nasty turn on Tuesday and I don't want to decorate outside when it's 40 degrees and rainy. So on Monday, when it is in the 60s, my neighbors will be greeted with the first signs of the season, or maybe not. They may be thinking as I am.

I do love Christmas although it is somewhat bittersweet. I miss my loved ones who have transitioned to eternity, especially my husband, Steve. It was so much fun to celebrate holidays with him. He let me be a big kid, and then joined in the fun.

But this is also the time that I think of the real meaning of Christmas. Had Christ not been born, I would have no hope of seeing the departed ones I love. The best gift I could ever receive is being reunited with them, and then with those who will follow me.

While many people will grouse about the Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving, it isn't a problem for me. I'm thankful every day for my many blessings and for the gift of hope. So, at this time, I can truly say: better early than late.

Your Passion Says It All

My mother once said to me, “Vicki, it’s a good thing you are a preschool director, otherwise, people would think you are weird.” That was said after I explained one year what I was going to do in celebration of Halloween.

It’s no secret to those who know me that I am just a big kid at heart. I love anything to do with having fun in celebrating holidays. And that brings to mind an issue of faith.

People don’t know that I love celebrating holidays because I tell them or forward an email. They know because of what I do to show my interest through actions. The same, I hope, could be said of my faith.

I don’t believe that people are truly converted to any religion by force or guilt. Jesus certainly didn’t teach that way, and as far as I know, I’ve never heard of leaders of other religions successfully doing so either. You can make people act a certain way, but you cannot change hearts unless the spirit within the person is willing. I trust that God is the one who makes that happen.

When the right opening occurs, I am happy to share my faith, but I also hope that my actions are conduits for those opportunities. I am far from perfect, and I try very hard not to commit egregious errors that will make others question the Christian way of life. After all, the Bible is quite adamant about not leading others astray.

 
Matthew 18:6 states: “But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” OUCH! That assumes, of course, someone is already a believer, but I am guessing that if one’s actions push a potential believer away, that isn’t too good either.

So, show your passion for what drives you, but don’t ask me if I am saved. Don’t send an email to me that tries to guilt me into passing it on in order to show my belief. Instead, show me how you live. Give me inspiration to live my life better. Let your actions speak for the truth, and then celebrate life. That’s what I hope to do.

Have a great and safe Halloween!

 

 

 

A Pleasant Surprise

I recently attended a performance of "Fox on the Fairway" at the New Dinner Theatre in Overland Park, KS. Dyan Cannon was to be the celebrity actor, but we did not see her until the end of the show when she came onto the stage with her crutches. The accidental injury to her ankle prevented her from appearing in the play.

Ms. Cannon took the opportunity to say hello and even offered a Q & A to the audience. That's when the surprise occurred. She described herself as an old-fashioned, moral person, and a believer! I later learned via her book, Dear Cary (the memoir she wrote about her marriage to Cary Grant) that she is also Jewish.

Why was I pleasantly surprised at her announcement of believing in God? The previous night I watched just 45 minutes of a movie, and despite some well known and respected actors (Robert DeNiro, Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Topher Grace, Amanda Sigfried), the film was both vulgar and profane. I decided halfway through the movie that Netflix could have it back and it would get a one-star rating from me.

I'm not a prude, but I sometimes wonder what the people who make some movies are thinking. Some screenwriters not only fail at basic grammar many times, but their vocabulary doesn't seem to be extensive when it comes to writing colorful words in the dialog. Does using the same curse word over and over again (you know what one I mean), and gratuitous nudity really make people come to see the movie?

Perhaps my biggest concern is that some moviegoers think the vocabulary and behavior, spoken and shown in the movies, are representative of real life. Personally I don't think it is, but if I'm wrong,  then I wish to remain blissfully ignorant of the real world. The same goes for what passes as entertainment on some reality shows.

But my big question is why such talented actors chose to do such a low-class film? Perhaps they do not understand, or even care, that some individuals like myself will be very hesitant to see what movies they make in the future. In any case, I'm not the one to judge their actions. I'm just the one to decide if I want to waste my time watching bad cinema.

I keep thinking about Proverbs 11:27 - "He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it." I guess you know what this optimist chooses!

A Personal Reminder Lessson

I have just completed my notes for a presentation that will be given tonight to fellow Stephen Ministers. The subject is "How the Bible Tells Us to Make This World a Better Place." The difficult part was narrowing down the subject matter because the Bible is full of examples and guidance.

This past weekend I attended a writers convention in Wichita. It was extremely well run and there was an opportunity to meet many wonderful and talented people. The volunteers who had organized this did an exceptional job, but once again, I was reminded about judgment. The Bible has much to say about judgment and there are many admonishments about it. Avoiding it is one thing I will address in my presentation, and I will give you an example of what I experienced at later in this blog.

Every time I read a letter to the editor in our local paper, I cringe when someone tries to cite a Biblical passage to support his or her view. While some may be justified in what they say, I know of no one who has been converted because someone has judged and admonished them in a particular manner. In fact, it can sometimes have the opposite effect.

Corinthians 2:11 says "For who among men knows the thoughts of  man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God." Personally, I'm very glad to leave judgment up to God, especially on more controversial matters. For the record,  I'm not talking about obvious topics like murder and stealing.

Now to the matter of my experience this weekend. One of the volunteers was very stoic and I never saw her crack a smile. She didn't initiate any conversations, and quite frankly, she didn't look all that happy. She was definitely someone who most of us would choose to avoid.

I again encountered her in what we call a read-around, an opportunity for writers and poets to share their works with their peers. She read two poems and I did not have an opportunity to talk with her until the next day. I then made a point to do so.

I told this person that I truly enjoyed her poems, and was rewarded with one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen. From then on, she was friendly and talkative. She was, like many people, just an introvert.

I have been misjudged and I don't like it. But worse than that, I'd really not want to know how many times I've misjudged.

Handling Conflict

Most of us don't like conflict and will do whatever we can to avoid it. But still, there are a few individuals who seem to thrive on it.

Fortunately, the Bible does tell us how to handle it in Matthew 18:15-16: "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'" Now if anyone has found that to be easy, please let me know.

When I was a new preschool director, I quickly learned how easily rumors spread and how devastating results of conflict can be. I wish I had known of the aforementioned verse before I finally figured it out on my own.

I truly questioned (and still do) the motives of anyone who would tell others what terrible things were said about them. It has no purpose other than to add to the contention. Finally, I made it mandatory to handle conflicts one-on-one, and if it couldn't be resolved between the two individuals, then they were to come to me. That worked!

To this day, I deplore rumors. I currently know of an individual who has been hurt in the past and wishes to make the life of those she holds responsible as unsettling as possible by spreading untruths or putting a negative spin on everything. The truly sad thing is that she could be very likable if she wanted to be.

So what can be done to stop such conflicts, especially if someone is not willing to halt such behavior? It's best to remember that those who try to make others miserable are also miserable, too. In such cases, I think it comes down to prayer and asking God to give guidance in dealing with the issue, and to help heal the person's wound so that the behavior ceases. At least that's my plan.

Reflections on Getting Older

At one time, I awaited my birthday much like Christmas. It couldn't arrive fast enough. Now that I'm older, that has changed significantly, at least in regard to my birthday.

On the positive side, doesn't wisdom accompany each year of life? I'm no Soloman, but there are a few lessons I've learned over the years. For one thing, I don't feel the need to please everyone, but I do feel the need to do the right thing. It's a no-brianer that we all have a responsibilty for this world and to each other. Looking back over the last year, it's important for me to see that I've made a positive difference.

Appropriate appearance is still important for me as well as others, but I'm much less judgmental. We are Biblically cautioned many times about judgment, so it's become a conscious effort of mine not do so rashly, especially when it comes to placing value superficially. The result is that I'm less concerned about my own vanity and more open to some wonderful friendships that might not have occurred.

I also find myself to be more aware of my actions. I don't want others to see my imperfections as an excuse to label all Chritians or to deny themselves an opportunity to explore a belief. It's my goal to live my life in such a way that makes others see that this is how we should live.

My bucket list from younger years has changed significantly. The urgency to do many things, especially the things that are more self-absorbed and oriented, have been replaced with what truly gives life meaning. Pleasing myself fails in comparison to making a difference for others and leaving this world a little better place than when I arrived.

I appreciate the everyday things a bit more like a gorgeous sunset, the sweet smell of lilacs in the wind, and especially trees. My love affair with the latter has been on-going for some time, but I eagerly await the change of seasons just to see nature's response. I count these things among my blessings.

I am also thankful to everyone for their well wishes on my birthday and offers of assistance during my recent bout with an infection. Know that you are also among my most cherished blessings.

So when my birthday arrives next year, I hope to have learned more about being a better human being. It's a never-ending goal we should all set for ourselves. That's how we truly make this world a better place.