Ouch! Maybe I Am a Material Girl

I'd like to think I've come a long way in putting less emphasis on the material world, but there are some things simply too difficult to part with or do without. I'm not talking about designer clothes, granite table tops, or a lavish estate; I thinking about sentimental items.

A few weeks ago, I had to replace a 3-seater swing with a smaller version. I would not have done so, except after 13 years, the mesh attached to the frame came unstitched and there was no way to fix it. You may wonder what's the big deal about replacing an old swing, and how could I be so attached to an object? The answer is simple − my husband.

In the last year of his life, it was time for Steve to give up his continuous list of  projects and enjoy what he had done. That included beautiful landscaping in our backyard and an added brick patio at the base of the deck he built years before. The area became a restful place where he could enjoy the outdoors, take a nap, or contemplate what was about to happen. We bought the swing for him.

Matthew 6:19-20 (NIV) states: 19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasurers in heaven..."  I understand the difference of what we should treasure, but it's so hard to give up things associated with a loved one.

Memories cannot be taken away unless something like dementia or amnesia occurs, but still I cling to objects which are associated with those memories that keep my husband close. I suppose most of us do something similar as I recall, after our mother's passing, my sister not wanting to throw away any scrap of paper on which our mother had written something. 

Granted, these sentimental items are not associated with greed or envy so I think there is some leniency in applying the aforementioned scripture. But it just shows that some materialism is impossible for most of us.

If You Could Save a Life...

I believe that most of us have felt the ache wondering if a loved one's demise might have been prevented. Sometimes that comes right after the loss, or it might come years down the road when learning of a new treatment. Unfortunately the conclusion is the same...we'll never know.

It's Memorial Day weekend and time to remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice as well as those who have gone before us. It's also a good time to think about what is preventable. That does not include the "inevitable," but we still might be able to delay it.

We often hear stories about those who have been helped by a generous donation from a living or deceased organ donor. But what we miss, is putting a face to all those who have perished waiting and hoping in vain that a transplant would save them.

My friend Rosina Houle lost her sister Jessie, who was on a transplant list after her donated kidney from 17 years earlier, failed. Jessie left behind a devoted husband and young daughter. Out of this tragic loss came the creation of an organization to promote living donors − Save a Life, Inc. (SAL). You can learn more about this important mission and how it all began at: Save A Life. 

I also have friends from church who, a decade ago, lost their only son to aplastic anemia (a rare blood disorder) while he waited for a bone marrow donor. He was only 19 years old. 

For the families of Jessie and A.J., the question will always be: What if?

I encourage everyone who can to become a donor, living or upon death. Doing so means indicating this on your driver's license, carrying a donor card, or placing yourself on a donor list, and making certain your family knows your wishes. Regrettably, most if not all, states and medical facilities allow family to override a deceased individual's wishes to donate an organ. In those cases when it has happened, one has to wonder how many people might have otherwise been saved.

So, to honor and remember our loved ones and those who have served us, I hope everyone reading this blog will take action to prevent what is preventable. I have.

Half a Century Reunion

I have not yet heard, but I suspect my fellow alums and I will celebrate our 50th high school reunion sometime this summer. My first thought is, "Egad, we can't be that old!" Almost worse is realizing I've been out of college for 46 years. Where did the time go? I may be 60-something, but I'm still just a kid inside.

At our last reunion 10 years ago, I told my fellow classmates I wanted to be a published author. Been there, done that − I'm still writing and now editing with some nice credits. I also wanted to see my sons settled both professionally and in their personal lives. That too has been accomplished with Chris finding Erin and becoming a quality engineer, and Ryan finding Katie as he transitions over the next couple of years from an emergency department RN to become a Nurse Practioner. This is all especially important to me because I promised my dear, late husband that I would do all I could to encourage our sons to complete their educations and find their way to a good life.

During this last decade, I have also anxiously awaited and hoped to become a grandparent. That's no surprise to anyone who knows me, and this year Chris and Erin blessed me with the cutest little grandson I could ever have imagined. He joins my adorable grand-dog Dan, and cute new grand-puppy Bernard. More things to check off my bucket list.

There are many other little positive endeavors along with some bigger ones for which I await the outcome, but I realize none of this would have been possible without divine inspiration and faith. After losing my soulmate, best friend, and husband before the last high school reunion, I could never have guessed these things might come to pass.

Even with accomplishments since the last get-together, and so many years having come and gone since high school, I'd like to think I've become a better human being. I'd also say most of that is because of my beliefs, and with help from above to make lemonade out of lemons.

While I'm sure we will exchange updates as to what we've been up to for the last 50 years (assuming the reunion actually happens), it's really who we've become that's most important. In another 50 years, most of our names will be forgotten. But real legacies aren't made from the things a person  accomplished from a bucket list, but rather by the person who did something to make a positive difference in whatever they did. It's that legacy my classmates have been working on that I'm eager to know. 

We're Like Modern Bronte Sisters, but Not Jealous!

Sometimes, we get a little glimpse of how things should be, and maybe even what they are like in Heaven. For instance, as I've grown older, a deeper appreciation of many things has ensued − I value people and experiences far more than possessions. One such example is the way I relate to my older sister who is also a writer.

Marsha became a writer (and a successful one) many years before I picked up the trade. Among her myriad works, she wrote a humor column for our local paper for many years along with countless historical books, both genres which are not my forte.

I, on the other hand, favor inspirational writing of most any kind. Making it into the Chicken Soup for the Soul Books was my dream come true, and I've been able to repeat the dream for a soon to be fifth  time. During my decade of writing, I've encouraged Marsha to also write something for one of their numerous publications. She finally did and was successful on her first submission. (Of course, that's not unusual for Marsha. Professionals readily recognize her professional work.) 

I can honestly say we support each other 100% in our craft. I was thrilled when her story was accepted in Chicken Soup for tor Soul: My Crazy Family (and no, I wasn't the subject matter). In return, she is also excited every time my work merits acclaim or acknowledgment. We also now often give the other a first look at what we write for any type of submission, although I probably do this far more than she because I will always consider her to be my mentor. Her feedback is spot-on and she is honest. If she tells me something needs to be changed, I value her opinion. If she says something is good, then I'm thrilled.

I suspect that Heaven has the same concept for all competition, and yes, I do hope there is some competition in eternity. That is often how we improve ourselves − seeing someone else accomplish something you want to do is a prime example of "it can be done." I surmise the difference in competition between Heaven and this world is what my sister and I experience in our writing. There is no jealousy for success, only genuine and loving support. And that is Heavenly!

As a final note, this is one piece of work for which my sister didn't get a first look. Surprise and thanks, Marsha!

A Happy Easter and What It Teaches

There is a lot of talk about death surrounding Easter, and the time leading up to it. It's a difficult topic because I imagine there is nothing quite so scary to humanity as the end of being. Of course, for Christians, Easter is a time of joy because it promises the ending to this existence will be followed by a new and better kind of life.

When I was in grade school, we didn't have spring break. Instead, we had Good Friday and the Monday after Easter as holidays. Now, it's difficult to even find stores closed on the actual day of Easter. With so many people afraid to die, it's interesting that little consideration is given to the event that can alleviate that fear, or at least, most of it.

As a child, I couldn't understand why it was called Good Friday because, I surmised, it certainly wasn't good for Jesus! But now I believe two things: 1) If Jesus hadn't died, He could not have risen and there would be no point to Christianity; and 2) Jesus experienced what most of us have in our darkest hours. When He said, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" He wasn't questioning whether there was a God, but maybe only that He could not feel God's presence and wondered why He was still here. (I don't know for sure if that is the case; I'll leave that to the Biblical scholars.) We sometimes feel that way too, and it's our plea to "do something, God!"

Our pastor gave a sermon two weeks ago that included his experience as a former hospice chaplain. Many times, people were ready to die but could not understand why there were still here. His response was provocative − to show others how to die. I'm sure they would have preferred the Charles Dickens's version, "...if they be like to die, then let them do it and decrease the surplus population." Unlike Jesus who commended his spirit to God and then died, it's usually not our choice when that happens. The difference too is that Jesus knew what he was doing and why.

Sunday, I will celebrate Easter and rejoice in its message. I know that faith has made me a better person, not perfect by any means, but better because I've been shown how to live and how to die.

Happy Easter to the World!

Tragedy − Too Close

I heard a number of sirens, but not the gunshot that summoned them less than 30 yards away. Apparently that noise was muffled by my washing machine and dryer.

It's not unusual to occasionally hear the screaming of emergency vehicles on the thoroughfare nearby, even over TV or music. But after ten years, I only notice them if there are many, and Wednesday night, there were. Because the sirens were so incessant, at one point, I went outside to see which direction the vehicles were going. I didn't stay outside long enough to see some of them pull into my own small community of town homes. It was just a short time later that I received a phone call from the wife of the president of our home owner association to alert me, as a Board member, to what happened.

Like all horrific incidents, there is always speculation and misinformation. At first, it was thought a domestic situation resulted in the shooting, and we soon learned a fatality occurred. A few hours later, it was known to be a suicide. All of this occurred so close to my town home that I can easily see the unit from my patio. When the draperies were opened, the multiple and lingering flashing lights confirmed that something bad had, indeed, happened.

It was even more unnerving to me for another reason. Just the day before, I was walking my grand-dog and encountered two of the three people living there. It is a rental and on the street separated by our common ground between the homes. We said hello and spoke briefly, not knowing that the next day held such a devastating secret.

Our neighborhood is comprised mostly of live-in owners in addition to some rentals, so we often don't know the names of transient residents, or sometimes even when they move in or out. But the wonderful thing about human nature is compassion, even when you don't really know someone. Whether it is an epic event like 9-11 or a cataclysmic natural disaster, people come together and want to help. And that's just what has happened during the last 48 hours in our small community.

Of course, my first response was to pray for the unfortunate, departed soul, and also for those left behind; that's something I will continue to do for a while. Even so, at the same time, I am also most grateful for what God has instilled in us − the desire to care for one another. Simply put, tragedy often shows us the real reason we are here.

Why We Are Here

I have recently finished reading Dan Brown's book Origin. It asks two questions about our existence: Where did we come from?Where are we going?

The book, like many others by Dan Brown, has had some negative response, especially due to its main character Robert Langdon who is somewhat agnostic. But strangely enough, the character asks the question which all atheists should ask. In  the book, one of Robert Langdon's former students (Edmond) asserts, "...the laws of physics alone can create life."  And then the paragraph continues with "but for Langdon it raised one burning question that he was surprised nobody was asking: If the laws of physics are so powerful that they can create life...who created the laws?!"  Bingo!

We humans abide by a very linear timeline − things are finite in our world and we can't imagine how it all really began. But it did begin somewhere and many of us call that God. He created us and all that is. As I've said before in other blogs, I really don't care how God created everything, I just believe He (and Jesus, John 1:3) did it. 

Now as to the other question (spoiler alert), asking where we are going, it alludes to becoming one with technology. That part is a little more difficult to refute. Already, advances have created bionics and implants that help to assist and regulate our failing bodies. It's also no secret that at some point, earth will become over-populated, long before our sun becomes a supernova. Although these issues are in the future, I am more concerned with the ever-present question and answer of why we are here.

I do believe in science, and I do believe in God, so in the end, the question of our existence isn't really a problem for me; I simply believe we are here to care for our fellowman. And for me, that's what really counts. Oh, one more thing − I'll also keep reading Dan Brown's books for entertainment.