Your Passion Says It All

My mother once said to me, “Vicki, it’s a good thing you are a preschool director, otherwise, people would think you are weird.” That was said after I explained one year what I was going to do in celebration of Halloween.

It’s no secret to those who know me that I am just a big kid at heart. I love anything to do with having fun in celebrating holidays. And that brings to mind an issue of faith.

People don’t know that I love celebrating holidays because I tell them or forward an email. They know because of what I do to show my interest through actions. The same, I hope, could be said of my faith.

I don’t believe that people are truly converted to any religion by force or guilt. Jesus certainly didn’t teach that way, and as far as I know, I’ve never heard of leaders of other religions successfully doing so either. You can make people act a certain way, but you cannot change hearts unless the spirit within the person is willing. I trust that God is the one who makes that happen.

When the right opening occurs, I am happy to share my faith, but I also hope that my actions are conduits for those opportunities. I am far from perfect, and I try very hard not to commit egregious errors that will make others question the Christian way of life. After all, the Bible is quite adamant about not leading others astray.

 
Matthew 18:6 states: “But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” OUCH! That assumes, of course, someone is already a believer, but I am guessing that if one’s actions push a potential believer away, that isn’t too good either.

So, show your passion for what drives you, but don’t ask me if I am saved. Don’t send an email to me that tries to guilt me into passing it on in order to show my belief. Instead, show me how you live. Give me inspiration to live my life better. Let your actions speak for the truth, and then celebrate life. That’s what I hope to do.

Have a great and safe Halloween!

 

 

 

A Pleasant Surprise

I recently attended a performance of "Fox on the Fairway" at the New Dinner Theatre in Overland Park, KS. Dyan Cannon was to be the celebrity actor, but we did not see her until the end of the show when she came onto the stage with her crutches. The accidental injury to her ankle prevented her from appearing in the play.

Ms. Cannon took the opportunity to say hello and even offered a Q & A to the audience. That's when the surprise occurred. She described herself as an old-fashioned, moral person, and a believer! I later learned via her book, Dear Cary (the memoir she wrote about her marriage to Cary Grant) that she is also Jewish.

Why was I pleasantly surprised at her announcement of believing in God? The previous night I watched just 45 minutes of a movie, and despite some well known and respected actors (Robert DeNiro, Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Topher Grace, Amanda Sigfried), the film was both vulgar and profane. I decided halfway through the movie that Netflix could have it back and it would get a one-star rating from me.

I'm not a prude, but I sometimes wonder what the people who make some movies are thinking. Some screenwriters not only fail at basic grammar many times, but their vocabulary doesn't seem to be extensive when it comes to writing colorful words in the dialog. Does using the same curse word over and over again (you know what one I mean), and gratuitous nudity really make people come to see the movie?

Perhaps my biggest concern is that some moviegoers think the vocabulary and behavior, spoken and shown in the movies, are representative of real life. Personally I don't think it is, but if I'm wrong,  then I wish to remain blissfully ignorant of the real world. The same goes for what passes as entertainment on some reality shows.

But my big question is why such talented actors chose to do such a low-class film? Perhaps they do not understand, or even care, that some individuals like myself will be very hesitant to see what movies they make in the future. In any case, I'm not the one to judge their actions. I'm just the one to decide if I want to waste my time watching bad cinema.

I keep thinking about Proverbs 11:27 - "He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it." I guess you know what this optimist chooses!

A Personal Reminder Lessson

I have just completed my notes for a presentation that will be given tonight to fellow Stephen Ministers. The subject is "How the Bible Tells Us to Make This World a Better Place." The difficult part was narrowing down the subject matter because the Bible is full of examples and guidance.

This past weekend I attended a writers convention in Wichita. It was extremely well run and there was an opportunity to meet many wonderful and talented people. The volunteers who had organized this did an exceptional job, but once again, I was reminded about judgment. The Bible has much to say about judgment and there are many admonishments about it. Avoiding it is one thing I will address in my presentation, and I will give you an example of what I experienced at later in this blog.

Every time I read a letter to the editor in our local paper, I cringe when someone tries to cite a Biblical passage to support his or her view. While some may be justified in what they say, I know of no one who has been converted because someone has judged and admonished them in a particular manner. In fact, it can sometimes have the opposite effect.

Corinthians 2:11 says "For who among men knows the thoughts of  man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God." Personally, I'm very glad to leave judgment up to God, especially on more controversial matters. For the record,  I'm not talking about obvious topics like murder and stealing.

Now to the matter of my experience this weekend. One of the volunteers was very stoic and I never saw her crack a smile. She didn't initiate any conversations, and quite frankly, she didn't look all that happy. She was definitely someone who most of us would choose to avoid.

I again encountered her in what we call a read-around, an opportunity for writers and poets to share their works with their peers. She read two poems and I did not have an opportunity to talk with her until the next day. I then made a point to do so.

I told this person that I truly enjoyed her poems, and was rewarded with one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen. From then on, she was friendly and talkative. She was, like many people, just an introvert.

I have been misjudged and I don't like it. But worse than that, I'd really not want to know how many times I've misjudged.

Handling Conflict

Most of us don't like conflict and will do whatever we can to avoid it. But still, there are a few individuals who seem to thrive on it.

Fortunately, the Bible does tell us how to handle it in Matthew 18:15-16: "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'" Now if anyone has found that to be easy, please let me know.

When I was a new preschool director, I quickly learned how easily rumors spread and how devastating results of conflict can be. I wish I had known of the aforementioned verse before I finally figured it out on my own.

I truly questioned (and still do) the motives of anyone who would tell others what terrible things were said about them. It has no purpose other than to add to the contention. Finally, I made it mandatory to handle conflicts one-on-one, and if it couldn't be resolved between the two individuals, then they were to come to me. That worked!

To this day, I deplore rumors. I currently know of an individual who has been hurt in the past and wishes to make the life of those she holds responsible as unsettling as possible by spreading untruths or putting a negative spin on everything. The truly sad thing is that she could be very likable if she wanted to be.

So what can be done to stop such conflicts, especially if someone is not willing to halt such behavior? It's best to remember that those who try to make others miserable are also miserable, too. In such cases, I think it comes down to prayer and asking God to give guidance in dealing with the issue, and to help heal the person's wound so that the behavior ceases. At least that's my plan.

Reflections on Getting Older

At one time, I awaited my birthday much like Christmas. It couldn't arrive fast enough. Now that I'm older, that has changed significantly, at least in regard to my birthday.

On the positive side, doesn't wisdom accompany each year of life? I'm no Soloman, but there are a few lessons I've learned over the years. For one thing, I don't feel the need to please everyone, but I do feel the need to do the right thing. It's a no-brianer that we all have a responsibilty for this world and to each other. Looking back over the last year, it's important for me to see that I've made a positive difference.

Appropriate appearance is still important for me as well as others, but I'm much less judgmental. We are Biblically cautioned many times about judgment, so it's become a conscious effort of mine not do so rashly, especially when it comes to placing value superficially. The result is that I'm less concerned about my own vanity and more open to some wonderful friendships that might not have occurred.

I also find myself to be more aware of my actions. I don't want others to see my imperfections as an excuse to label all Chritians or to deny themselves an opportunity to explore a belief. It's my goal to live my life in such a way that makes others see that this is how we should live.

My bucket list from younger years has changed significantly. The urgency to do many things, especially the things that are more self-absorbed and oriented, have been replaced with what truly gives life meaning. Pleasing myself fails in comparison to making a difference for others and leaving this world a little better place than when I arrived.

I appreciate the everyday things a bit more like a gorgeous sunset, the sweet smell of lilacs in the wind, and especially trees. My love affair with the latter has been on-going for some time, but I eagerly await the change of seasons just to see nature's response. I count these things among my blessings.

I am also thankful to everyone for their well wishes on my birthday and offers of assistance during my recent bout with an infection. Know that you are also among my most cherished blessings.

So when my birthday arrives next year, I hope to have learned more about being a better human being. It's a never-ending goal we should all set for ourselves. That's how we truly make this world a better place.

Optimism Beats the Alternative

I am a born optimist. It's how I choose to live my life and it saddens me to think of those who can only see negatives. You know this type of person because they are difficult to be around, and  unfortunately, they are also the people most in need of God's love and yours.

When Jesus said to "love one another as I have loved you," he gave us a difficult command. Living your life in simple terms to "love your neighbor as yourself" and "... do to others what you would have them do to you" (Matthew 7:12 NIV) is a great way to live, but it doesn't come easy. Perhaps the biggest opposition to that is judgment, and we humans are great at it!

We judge with both prejudice and pride, and often do so unknowingly. Sometimes there are even seemingly innocent influences that we don't even notice. If you are surrounded by, listen to, and read negatives all day long, that is definitely going to slant your outlook on life.

If you listen to music or play video games that promote violence, or watch movies and shows that exploit and degrade others, it can't help but influence you. It might even be a joke, or a TV reality show that documents people at their worst behavior. If you are entertained by those kinds of things, just be cognizant of how you might generalize people who possess a tiny resemblance to those negatives.

The key to remaining optimistic is to keep things in perspective. Just because you hear about atrocities doesn't make the entire world a bad place, especially when there is so much good we can do. In fact, I firmly believe that our humanity is best shown when we feel outrage upon learning of bad things because if most of us didn't do the right things, this world would be intolerable.

Instead of negatives, try reading great inspirational magazines such as Living World at: Living Word Magazine and watching shows such as "The Secret Millionaire." Make note of the many positive things that happen, and live to serve others. No one can wallow in self pity if the focus is on others.

Proverbs 11:27 (NIV) states: "He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it." As for me, I'd rather be an optimist and choose the good.

The Goodness of Prayer

I admit that sometimes I'm a little confused when it comes to prayer. I don't just pray every night, I talk to God many times throughout the day. Strangely enough, even though I wrote the draft of this blog several days ago, prayer became a topic of discussion in the religion section of the Lawrence Journal World today.

Like many supplicants, I ask for healing, comfort, peace, etc. for those in need with special focus on those for whom I've been asked or especially want to pray. Recently, I've begun to pray that those circumstances be known to the one for whom I pray. Not everyone I pray for is of the same belief that I am, so it more like my asking God to do what is best for them and make it known to them.

One of my favorite parts of the Lord's prayer is "thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." Wow! Can you imagine anything better than that? But it does make one wonder why we need to offer a special prayer for healing, etc. Isn't God's will what we should really pray for since we know that He wishes only good for us? And how great would it be if earth were really like Heaven?

A pastor once explained that our special prayers are a way for us to acknowledge that God is in control. It's heartbreaking to pray for healing of a loved one when it doesn't occur. After all, doesn't Matthew 7:7 say "Ask and it will be given to you...?" Matthew 17:20 also tells us "... if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move."
Like so much other misunderstood scripture, we sometimes want to take things verbatim and apply it to all things instead of what was actually attended.

We don't like to be disappointed, and sometimes it's a blessing that we don't get what we ask for. I can then think of no greater prayer that to ask that God's will be done, even when it's contrary to ours.