What Will the Future Bring?

The Bible cautions us not to worry about the future as stated in: Matthew 6:34: “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (NSRV) But there are more comforting versus that precede this quote where we are told not to worry about what we will eat, drink or wear. We’re also reminded that worry doesn’t extend even an hour of our lives (Matthew 6:27).

Unfortunately, human nature is to worry so we must learn to place our faith in God that He knows what we need and will provide it. Having said this, I think worry isn’t the same as planning. Planning  tries to negate worry.

When the inevitable happens to us, or we have an unforeseen illness or accident, we need to plan for what happens. Someone else will need to handle our affairs, and as stated above, this may even be due to a temporary circumstance.

This blog carries a gift for you. After experiencing the after-effects of what happens when someone close passes on, I know there are many questions to be answered. While my late husband did a great job of ensuring my financial savvy, I saw a need to put some things in writing for my sons, hence the Important Information to Know document.

This document lists the important aspects of one’s personal affairs – anything from ACH deposits and withdrawls from your bank account, to your final wishes (including who gets what heirlooms). It does NOT replace the need for a will, and it is not a legal document -it’s just to help others navigate your finances and wishes should you no longer be able to do so.

You can the find the document,”Important Information to Know,” through the following link to my website. Just click on the top button that bears the same name. Share this link with everyone you know – it’s the best and smartest gift you or they can give to those who must handle your (or their) personal affairs for whatever happens.

Go to: www.vickijulian.com and download the form. You can cut and paste or simply print it. If you need a 2015 New Year’s resolution, this is a good place to start.

Wishing you a happy, worry-free (or less) New Year!

Merry Christmas 2014

I’m thinking of my sister and her family who will face the first Christmas without my brother-in-law. Like many people who experience a deep loss, they find it hard to truly celebrate the season. It becomes more of a ritual of going through the motions, but still trying to hold on to the goodness of generosity, compassion and caring. Grief just has a way of eroding joy.

The first year after losing my husband eight years ago was extremely difficult, not that it’s a piece cake now, so to speak. But since his passing was in late September, I was still somewhat in shock of the loss when Christmas rolled around. The one thing I discovered to be most helpful was to continue some of the traditions and some of the good things we did together. It was a way to honor him, and it made him feel a little closer, too.

I also realized that, while the void was something I couldn’t fill, I needed to still celebrate Christ’s birth. After all, it was the beginning of the greatest gift I would and could ever receive, mostly because it gave me hope that I would see Steve again. I also found that doing things for others and making their life a little better let me focus on something besides myself and my devastation.

When such losses occur, it’s important to give oneself permission to begin some new traditions, or just change how things are done for that year. For me, at my sons’ urging, it meant still hosting our family’s Christmas Eve open house to include other family and friends, but also an annual trip following Christmas Day.

My oldest son was unmarried at the time and always had the week off between Christmas and New Year’s, so it became a new tradition for us to get away for about four days. We did that for five years until he married. And now after eight years, I no longer need to have the after-Christmas trip to look forward to and distract me from my loss.

If you know someone who is experiencing a great loss this year, please try to understand how they choose to handle celebrations. In time, they will acclimate to the difference, even though it might never be the same for them. Sometimes grief takes time, and there is a learning curve to accept what one cannot change. But to everyone in that transition and to everyone else, I still wish you a Merry Christmas with peace and blessings, and a much Happier New Year.

I Love Christmas!

I love Christmas! I think what I enjoy most is that it's the one time of the year when the majority of humanity  (Christians and many non-Christians alike) seem to behave like we should.  We show generosity, forgiveness, atone, and display a happier attitude toward one another regardless of our differences. Maybe it's even a little glimpse of Heaven, too.

This year, I made a little atypical gesture of self-indulgence. My late husband's company gives away a coveted annual award in his name to the person who demonstrates his level of compassion and caring toward both clients and co-workers.

Last year, I ordered Harry London chocolates from QVC during their Christmas in July sale, which arrived in late November, so that I could take it to the luncheon where the award was presented. It was my thanks to this wonderful group of people who remember and honor my special husband, and continue to include me as part of their family. And yes, the gourmet chocolates were a big hit.

This year, I again placed an advanced order to bring to the event. In the meantime, another shopping channel offered Waggoner chocolates which had a little different assortment. Since this was the grandson of Harry London, I thought it might be good to choose that option this year to see what they liked best.

For months, I stewed about whether to cancel the Harry London chocolates, and then finally decided to let them ship to me and I would keep them - all 6 pounds of them! 

Even though I'm a self-proclaimed chocoholic, I have shared them with friends and family. Surprisingly, there have been days when I haven't even eaten one piece. So, in reality, it isn't all self-indulgence.

I'll continue to share the remaining 4-5 pounds of goodies as a gesture of kinship with something special. So, I'm  really doing what I love most to do - sharing my blessings with others, even if it's only chocolate at the time.