Falling of the Lenten Wagon

Although we Lutherans don't have to give up something for Lent or to add a good practice, it is an encouraged discipline. In this season of reflection and awareness of Christ's sacrifice, it has been my practice to observe a discipline in the last decade.

The first year, I chose to give up chocolate. For all you fellow chocoholics, you know that this is a sacrifice, not equivalent to Jesus' dying on the cross of course, but certainly requiring discipline. The first few days were the most difficult and thereafter I did fairly well. My close slip-up was at the movies with a friend who saved me from an indiscretion. I ordered malted milk balls at the concession stand and then had to give them to her when she said, "Vicki, isn't that chocolate?" Of course she knew it was chocolate and what I would need to do with them.

The following year, I gave up sweets entirely. That was extremely difficult because we just happen to have a number of birthdays in our family that fall during Lent, or at least a portion of it. It was so hard to watch others eat ice cream and cake while I noshed on the 90 calorie Fiber One bar I brought. My only consolation was losing weight.

Then there were a couple of years where I added something, and then gave up chocolate again which was much easier the second time around.

But this year, I decided to give up candy. For anyone who knows me, this was probably a sacrifice equal to giving up chocolate by itself. I thought it might actually be easier just because I didn't eliminate all sweets, but I inadvertently fell off the Lenten wagon.

About five days into my sacrificial journey, I stopped by Taco John's one evening and didn't even give it a thought about the nickle-sized mint that was at the bottom of my sack. As I crunched it, my satisfied countenance changed to one of horror. I was eating candy...and I had been doing so well! I prayed that God would forgive me this unintentional transgression.

Then a week later, while helping with taxes at the local senior center,  I helped myself to a peanut butter cookie. As I was talking with another tax volunteer, I mentioned giving up candy for Lent. She quizzically looked at me as she stated, "but you're eating it with those Reese's pieces on the cookie." Guilt, the second time around.

So I have twice failed at my sacrificial attempts to experience depriving myself of something of meaning to me. I am grateful to God that he accepts me with all my faults and I remember Romans 7:19 - "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing."

Although eating candy isn't the worst thing I can do, it is a reminder of how many times it's possible to unintentionally do the wrong thing. So now I've decided to add a good practice during this time - remembering to thank God daily for still loving me with all my human frailties.