An Ah-Ha Moment About Guilt and Regret

I've had two profound ah-ha moments, and one was most recently while talking to one of my sisters. The other occurred long ago when I realized what Jesus meant in loving our enemies. That is certainly one of the most difficult things to do, but if you pray for them to see the light and become better people, that is the ultimate victory. Revenge and getting even doesn't change the harm they did and will continue to do, but changing them for the good makes it possible for them to atone, and the world a better place for everyone.

Now for my second enlightenment, my sister and I were discussing the tragic losses of our beloved husbands to cancer. The "what ifs" surfaced in our conversation - we should have, if we'd known, etc. It was then I recalled something I'd been thinking about this past week.

Hindsight is always 20-20, but for those of faith, prayer is an important part of affecting future outcomes. We recognize that God can do anything. He is the ultimate healer whether through a direct miracle or through the hands of competent medical staff.

My sister and I, along with countless other family members and friends, prayed for a cure for our husbands, and we did so most ardently. God said "no." Now this is where the ah-ha moment comes in to play. God could also have said "yes." It wasn't our choice or within our power to decide.

Romans 8:28 states "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..."but it would be difficult to argue that allowing a loved one to die is good. Instead, I think it simply means that God will help us to make lemonade out of lemons when He allows bad things to happen.

Ultimately, to think that we could have done anything further to contribute to the healing of our loved ones is to assume that we are in charge. If God had determined, because of all our prayers or His infinite wisdom that they should live, nothing we could do or didn't do would have stopped that from happening. If they were to live, God would have given us the foresight to do whatever was necessary to keep our loved ones with us. You cannot regret doing or not doing what is not your choice. 

There will always be regrets, but they shouldn't happen because we thought we should have known something in hindsight. We don't have the power of life and death, but we do have the power for other things to ease future regret for things we can affect. We can be nice to each other and try our best to live in a way that will make this world a little better when we leave it than when we were born. That's my goal.